First Date 101

First dates are excruciating, aren't they? If you don't date a lot, you probably get nervous and feel as if you're being judged. It can feel like interviewing for a job at times (will they like me…. ask me out again….)

But I'm here to tell you that first dates can be a breeze if you approach them the right way. Here are a few tips.

Opt for a Coffee Date the First Time You Meet

When I mention "first dates," what I'm really talking about is the first real date. If you and your date are being set up by friends, or you've met online, then you really should meet for coffee instead. Coffee dates are one hour in length and make it easy to meet someone new in person for the first time.

Find out how to "ace a coffee date."

Make Sure There Are Plenty of Chances for Conversation

First dates are all about connecting, so make sure there are plenty of opportunities to talk.  Choose a date activity that will provide topics of conversation to help smooth out any lulls in conversation.  For example, a place where you can people watch will never be short on things to notice and talk about.  Ideally a first date should give you time to see how you relate to each other as well as the outside world.

First Date Ideas

While just about any activity can be good for a regular date, a first date is special.  First dates should give you the chance to find out more about the person you're with.  Basically what you need to decide on a first date is whether your special someone is worth a second date.  To choose an activity that will let you do something together (go to a movie, rollerblading, biking, etc.) and then have time to talk (dinner, coffee, drinks, etc.)  (More first date ideas.)

First Date Safety

Most times on a first date, you don't know the person that well, so you need to be careful.  It's best to drive and leave separately to the date.  Choose a place you feel comfortable in but not right next to your house, so you won't be tempted to invite someone over just because your place is closer than the nearest coffee shop.  Remember that until you know someone, he or she is still a stranger to you. 

Asking for a Second Date

Remember how I said first dates are all about finding out whether or not you want a second date?  The end of the date is the true test of that.  As the date winds down, think about whether or not you want to go out with this person again.  If you do, start thinking of specific things you can ask them to do.  For example, it's better to say, "I have tickets to the hockey game next Friday night, would you like to go with me?" than "You want to do this again sometime?"  If you ask to meet the person again for a specific day and date, you will have more success. (Find out how to end a first date.)

If you're not into meeting the person again, that's okay too.  The important thing is that you got out there and had fun.  Never look at a first date as "bad" if you don't want to see the person again.  Instead, you met someone new, you had a good time, and you're that much closer to meeting the right one for you.